Dear Future Self,
Sorry about the mess.
Love,
You
This is how my day of writing has ended. I’ve been wrestling with the same scene – one of the most crucial and certainly the most difficult to write of my whole novel – and decidedly losing each bout. Today has been the day I’ve resorted to some ugly tactics to get that thing to the mat, crudely squishing it under my whole weight just to bring this ordeal to an end. Today I have written some of the worst sentences of my writing life.
And thus, also, I would like to leave my note of apology to my future self, the reliable one, who comes along (I know she will, she always does) to clean up my messes and put everything in order. I’m sorry about that, me! But I had my reasons! Byeeee!
On the other hand, though you may think from this that Past Self is a slovenly jerk you’re glad you don’t have to live with, sometimes she’s a perfect delight. This morning, I found another note she had left for me in my manuscript. It told me, in square brackets, exactly what to write next, enabling me to make an immediate start and build the momentum that has got me over the hump of this scene – or at least maybe camped out halfway up the hump instead of sulking at the foot of it.
Likewise, last week Present Self came to a massive stumper, a plot hole so big the whole novel could have fallen into it. But Past Self was back there, in the past, telling Present Self to chill, she had it covered. All Present Self needed to do was look back over her notes to remind herself that there was a reason for all of it, and that reason was exactly giant-plot-hole-sized. Past Self looks on smugly, knowing Present Self should have a little more faith.
Writing a novel is a long process and it’s a conversation with yourself across time that’s sometimes just as rife with misunderstanding and opacity as those you have with other people. It’s often worth remembering to put as much effort into your communications with yourself as you do into your emails to others. All your selves will be better off for it.
But you know, it’s actually Present Self who’s a bit of a jerk. She’s writing a blog post when she should be finishing this damn novel.
Loose Lions 